As always, I am not speaking for women in general, only myself. And if you milk cows, haul lobster traps, lead month-long hiking trips or simply don't care, this list does not apply to you. This is aimed at males who do care and are looking for one more female opinion.
Given that, here are some (admittedly random) examples of responses that I have given over the last couple of months on things for men to consider avoiding:
- Being a walking advertisement for any one company: (i.e. L.L. Bean Field Coat; Norwegian Sweater; Bean Boots. Two at most).
- Having every item be brand new. Too shiny looks desperate. Something needs to be scratched up or frayed.
- Evidence of "product" in the hair.
- Jewelry (with the obvious exceptions of watch or wedding band).
- Casual wearing of white socks. Off-white cotton or wool tennis socks work. Tube socks, anklets or quarter socks don't.
- Leather jackets. Stick to waxed cotton or wool.
- Knock-offs.
- Over "high-teching" the gear. It can very quickly look like a costume.
- Polo collars worn up.
- Polo shirts that are not mesh. (And no tipping on the collars.)
- A cuff measurement that is off. (Stick with 1¾").
- Leaving more than one button on an oxford shirt open.
- A crewneck t-shirt visible either under an oxford shirt, or worse, a polo shirt.
- Motif pants or shorts worn with a motif belt.
- With the exception of Gucci loafers, black anything (this also excludes business accessories).
- A summery, light hued ensemble, then combined with a dark, leather braided belt.
- A crewneck sweater paired with a collarless shirt.
- Pleats. No.
- Fragrance. No.
- Denim. No
And then there are "goes without saying": No cargo pants or shorts; short sleeve shirts with ties; dark socks and boat shoes; no mock-neck anything; synthetic athletic wear if you are not working out at that very moment; blended khakis or blended oxfords.
38 comments:
Well put. A lot of things go back to some men dressing as though they were still in school. I have long been a proponent of how one dresses speaks volumes.
Spectacular list!
Would you consider adding?............
Large, watches, with many dials displaying useless information.
Facial hair.
Tatts.
Not dressing your age.
Facial hair was on the list, but in a spineless moment, I took it off. Great add-ons!
This is a great list, and you're right on the mark. I will admit to using hair "product", but not all of us are blessed with a full head of hair for that Kennedy-style "just back from the regatta" look. :) Other than that, I am 100% in agreement with your observations. Love your blog, by the way. Keep up the good work.
A couple of additional possibilities:
Clip on bow ties.
Four in hand ties worn with dinner jackets, such as the ones seen on celebrities at Hollywood award ceremonies.
This list brings to mind my all time personal favorite. Ranking above the "full Cleveland", exposed chest hair, and cigarette smoking in public,
The comb over.
What about signet rings?
While none of the men in my family wear them, I have close friends who wear them well.
Finally got my own account. Boy, do I hate technology. Anyway. Muffy, please do not let anyone else influence your opinion. This is why we value your blog so highly. It is simple, non-fussy, non-trendy, truly preppy, and totally you. Thank you.
Good list, except for #15 IMHO, if I understand it correctly. There are many contexts and outfits that call for black shoes and a black belt. A navy blue suit does not look right with brown shoes. At night in a big city it would not be optimal to wear a suit and brown shoes to go to a symphony concert or the opera. When I was younger, people in Boston occasionally used the term "brown-shoe Yankee" in a negative way to refer to a less-than-elegant man who wore brown shoes in situations where black shoes would have been expected.
letrouvere - I worded #15 poorly. You are right and we are in agreement.
A question about the no denim rule. The Official Preppy Handbook said that plain, straight-legged, Levi's brand jeans were okay (admittedly hard to find in these days of low rises and bootcut leg pants). Is this wrong or out-dated? Or is the no denim rule a personal preference of yours?
Disagree with 7, or at least your example:
What is wrong with Sebago . . . What about Alden boat shoes or Quoddy . . .
Disagree with 9:
I sometimes turn my collar up. In Georgetown it's called the peacock pop. Quite cavalier.
Disagree with 11:
Cuff width should be relative to how long your legs are or how tall you are. Personally I think a 1.75" cuff makes my legs look to short so I go with a 1.5"
Disagree with 12:
The top two buttons left undone is actually the proper way. I can provide references if you'd like...
Disagree with 19:
Are you saying fragrance is "unclassic?" What's your issue with it? Many fragrances by Penhaligons, Trumpers, Czech & Speake are suitable.... I really wish you would reconsider. Personally I wear Blenheim Boquet..
Disagree with 20:
Perhaps after you are a certain age, but come on, look how dashing nacho figueras looks in denmin.
Kari, I just don’t like they way denim looks or feels, and mostly how other classics garments look when paired with it. From my vantage, khakis always look better.
Having said that, wearing jeans when doing “real” physical work for their toughness makes sense. The style you mentioned is the most classic, especially paired with flannel or canvas shirts.
Signet rings are quite pukka if inherited, but they can be tricky for men in that traditionally they are only worn on the left hand pinky. So what do they do when they get married and want to wear a wedding band? Two items of jewellery on a man is too much.
So these days some men swap the signet ring on to their right pinky. Is this OK?
Goob,
I personally find that a man with an upturned collar too often ends up seeming pretentious to those around him. As for denim, I can't say that I don't own a pair of jeans (I do, but of course they are solid and dark). However, just because a polo player and Polo model wears jeans, it does not mean that jeans are "preppy".
Lovely list. Have you considered writing one for women?
No facial hair is ever acceptable so I understand excluding it from the list. I prefer a fragrance deoderant for men vs. drugstore offerings. What about a grooming list with opinions including fragrances and colors. I read your list about makeup which recommends only lipstick and spot cover up but why not a light coat of mascara for blonde eyelashes or a light blush? What color lipsticks and what about manicure/pedicures? Would love to hear your opinion on all of the above in a blog posting if you wouldn't consider it too mundane! Also love your home decor and wardrobe postings. I really enjoy the blog!
Best,
Eleanor
contentedofdulwich - I prefer one or the other. Two is too many.
No end to a difference in opinion on things that seem relatively insignificant However, only you can decide if the following are right for you.
Fragrance (If people in the elevator comment on it, you may want to reconsider. Soap and water, bay rum or witch hazel never draw flies.)
Denim of any kind ( Our society may have doomed a serviceable item for manual labor, in an attempt to appear egalitarian. Unless you are hanging sheet rock, what is the point in trying to look like you do?)
Cuffs under 1 3/4" ( Trousers hang better, regardless of your height. Alteration people usually argue with you about it, but it is worth insisting on 1 3/4". Standard is 1 1/2". Try it once and see for yourself.)
Popped collars. ( Look at the preponderance of insecure teenagers trying to look cool. Is this really you? )
If you read this blog, you are probably open to the concept of a simple, unpretentious, functional life style, that is not subject to style change or ostentatiousness. Just a thought.
A couple of excellent books deal directly with the points being made by the author, in this thread:
"Blink" by Malcolm Gladwell - He theorizes that people make up their minds in the blink of an eye; what they think of others. Maybe it shouldn't be that way but it is, think how many times your initial impressions have an impact on your relationships with those just met.
"Class" by Paul Fussell - tells why we think of things in our society with a view to judging the background of a person by their appearance and actions. Beauty is only skin deep etc, but that isn't the way most people view the outside world.
IE, Fussell posits that thin people appear to be more socially acceptable based on initial appearances, than those that are overweight. Shouldn't be that way, but life is full or inequities, that we deal with as best we can.
But you wear your polo collars up, Muffy!
I suppose women do carry it off better than men, especially after the look got hijacked by a lot of obnoxious frat boys who walk around calling people “Dudebro.” But I’m afraid I’m guilty of the transgression, and think it’s a matter of context. It reminds me more of my school peers in the early 1980s before the word “preppy” got stolen by the Abercrombie crowd. In my defense I will say that my polos are all Ralph Lauren and all mesh. We’re also in agreement about oxfords…I never unbutton them past the top button.
Since I’m confessing my sins, I may as well admit I wear pleated khakis, but I’m skinny, so I figure I get a pass. I wear jeans a lot too, but never in formal settings. But I’m from Virginia and have grown up around educated, affluent farm families. Jeans are just part of the preppy wardrobe around here.
Anyway, I really enjoy your blog. My friends and I think you’re fabulous!
I agree with Chessie8200; down here in VA the right jeans (basic, straight leg, Levi's) are acceptable, and even appropriate, in some situations. You just don't drive out to the farm in khakis.
Otherwise, this is a great list! I second the call for a ladies' version.
I second Elle's motion!
I would love to rad a similar post for women and a separate post about grooming/makeup!
chessie8200 - Definite double standard with the collar! Love the confessions!
makingstuffanddoingthings - I know exactly what you and chessie8200 are saying about farm wardrobes. Having spent much time around horses and farms in general, straight-forward jeans (I still call them dungarees) don't look out of place.
Elle, KStar and makingstuffanddoingthings - I'll think about a list for the women. Just don't want to offend too many women!
Hello Muffy:
A couple of possible additions: (1) rain coats worn in the city/to the office in anything other than tan/khaki (am excluding the more casual waxed Barbours from this which do work). (2) XXL anything. Clothes should fit the wearer; the huge, one-size-fits-all, baggy clothes many men wear today are awful. (3) Kilties--hate 'em. (4) Mephistos, the ugliest shoe known to mankind. (5) Ornate "southwest" style belts, particularly ones with silver and turquoise. (6) lariats. (7) Cabana ensembles.
Love your blog!
Reggie - Love these! Very accurate and very funny!
Love the list but have to disagree on 2 items.
1. Denim. Jeans are utilitarian and comfortable and fit many occasions just fine...for instance a pig roast at a friend's farm or a night at the movies or a college football game ..the list goes on and on...so I respectfully believe you are off the mark on that one.
2. Black. A casual black wool sport coat with a pair of black pants is perfectly fine for a man when going into town in the evening...to a Jazz Club or hip restaurant.
Main Line Sportsman - You inspired my latest post! I agree jeans are utilitarian and would not look out of place in your examples. (I knew I would take a lot of heat for my position!)
Although your comments beg the question, what might you wear to a hip pig roast? :)
How about those Dictator shirts? I see guys who should know better sporting them. (The technical term is
guayabera shirt, as worn by Manny Noriega, Ferdinand Marcos and Danny Ortega.)
I spent a number of years in college living in a university town in South Germany. Many of the men there wore signet and family crest rings. There didn't seem to be a particular finger to wear it on- though I never ever saw one on a pinky. Europeans are probably the exception to everything on the list though.
Why does everyone hate pleated pants? I think they're a classic look. I don't like flat front pants with on seam pockets for men because the flat front looks effeminate. Just look at a woman's flat front pants. The only flat front pants I like are the ones with jeans front pockets. That pocket breaks up the flatness. Pleats give the front a nice break. Just look at this picture http://img340.imageshack.us/img340/4273/1995aug24715rl1.jpg
I'm so glad that you write this blog for perhaps an odd reason: I have something to point friends to when I'm accused of being preppy. I'm from coastal Connecticut and wear lots of sweaters, oxfords, LL Bean boots, etc. - all of which served to amuse my friends during undergrad in Manhattan to no end. Even at Yale, my Nantucket reds were the subject of bemusement by peers and profs alike (as you probably know, prep culture is now largely absent from the Ivy League).
But I wear jeans. I do not always wear a collared shirt under a crew neck sweater. I do not particularly enjoy the outdoors. As a man, I do not find it attractive when women wear shapeless garments. And I do not like wool, because cashmere is available. Probably most importantly, I did not attend prep school. Being from coastal Connecticut, I always knew that "true" preppies exist ("swamp Yankees," per my mother), and that I was not one of them. Now I can prove that to those who did not grow up in their midst.
Beyond that, thank you for the blog: you are an excellent writer and have introduced me to many new and authentic products.
Muffy,
I could not agree more with your list; particularly the denim. Jeans are most decidedly not preppy no matter how hard imitation prep stores of today's youth shoppers promote them to be. There is not a single occasion where a great pair of khaki's cannot (and should not)be substituted for any kind of denim.
I was horrified to learn recently that Brooks Brothers has now partnered with Levis to sell Levis jeans in their stores. BB dropped a couple of rungs on the ladder after that decision (after falling three or four rungs with the introduction of the slim cut dress shirts). What on earth are they thinking?
Nice, I am quite impressed you know 1 3/4 cuff width. Skinny cuffs are a dead ringer for cheap pants and a store that does not know how to alter mens clothes.
Mine never have a break and sit just atop the shoe....
@Bernard
You hit the nail on the head. flat-front trousers definitely look like they're made for women.
Re Signet Rings: the wedding band IF worn is placed on the little finger (not, my Gawd, the "pinkie" unless your name is Capone)above, i.e. the "heart" side, of the signet ring.
Never trust a man who wears braces and a belt.....because he does not trust himself! With regards to the signet ring, ring finger only. The pinky is reserved for Prince Charles. If married, swap out the band for the signet ring. I have and my wife loves me no less!
I realize that I'm far too late to the party, but after lurking for a couple of years (and agreeing with most of your views), I wanted to weigh in with a couple of thoughts.
#4 -- limiting jewelry to watch or wedding band is, I think, a tad too restrictive. While I'm creeped out by necklaces, bracelets, etc., on men, any married man will already be wearing a wedding band and a wristwatch, so this rule would preclude even cufflinks or an antique signet ring one inherited. I'd ask for dispensation to add one additional piece of jewelry.
#19 -- no fragrance? Again, if a scent can be detected from more than conversational distance, it's too much, but I fail to find anything wrong with a subtle, appropriate and good quality scent on a man. I started wearing Penhaligon's and Creed scents in prep school and never heard anything but compliments about it from the young ladies in my close proximity. The qualifiers should be that any scent is subtle, appropriate to the occasion and of good quality (which is usually synonymous with old-fashioned).
Otherwise, I found it to be a very well thought-out list.
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