My father's tartan cashmere scarf, which he purchased at Langrock's in New Haven.
I have been the grateful recipient over the years of so many items handed down from family members and close friends. This includes paintings, silver and old jewelry, but also more simple things like books, wood bins and kitchen bowls.
And inevitably when I use or simply look at these items, I think of the person from whom I got them. I appreciate almost every time their taste, commitment to quality, and generosity.
Each time I throw my red tartan scarf around my neck (as I did this morning filling our bird feeder), or glance at his now unused pipes, I am connected with my late father. The textures and smells remind me of him (insert Proust reference here).
I now wear my mother's Burberrys trench, which we purchased 36 years ago at Burberrys, NYC. The chair and mirror were also handed down.
I am grateful to my parents for long ago purchasing items that I can still use today. And, even more wonderful, the items themselves, almost totemically, recall happy memories of going with my parents at an early age to great places.
Two of my father's many pipes that he bought with me at Alfred Dunhill in New York
My mother's Ghurka handbag, which we selected together in 1976 (you can almost make out the unique registration number in the corner).
I needed to visit my local tack shop for some Lexol for the leather.
This is what was waiting for me one day at the home of our old and dear friend CWC III.
There is a higher standard with which I treat these gifts. I never give away what has been given. I have spent hours happily removing a few spots or mending a few loose buttons over the years.
One item I recently took out of the closet was my father's G9.
My father and husband both bought their G9s from Huntington, whose catalog page we happened to have saved.
My father in his, at Pemaquid Point, Maine in 1990.
My father capturing the playful torment bestowed upon my mother by CWC III, a ritual enjoyed to this day.
My son, as of this year, is now wearing my father's G9. While a new one is available at O'Connell's, I am confident this one will continue to serve our family for quite a bit longer.
29 comments:
A lovely post, Muffy. I was just thinking about that windbreaker and its many imitators the other day. That was once a fairly common jacket which one doesn't see much anymore in my part of the world. How great that you're passing the tradition on! What a timeless bag, too. I'll bet all the ostentatious Coach bags we see dangling off so many wispy, waifish wrists nowadays don't last that long.
I bet that trench was made by Burberry's instead of Burberry. I know you treasure those items. To comment on John's comment: the old Coach bags are great quality. I have some old ones that still look good. I don't even look at the new Coach.
I understand so well what you are saying. Even the simple act of signing my checks with my grandfather's pen has special meaning. Of course I wish I didn't sign so many checks, but at least I feel a connection.
@John - Thank you. And I so agree with you about Coach. What a fall.
@Tammy B - Nice catch! Correction (gratefully) made. My label does indeed say Burberrys.
@James - I'll bet that's a great pen - how lovely!
Muffy I found your thoughts to be so lovely.
What can be more meaningful than wearing/ using something that has come down to us with such love.
xoxo
Karena
Art by Karena
I think this might be my favorite post yet. I'm blessed to have received some wonderful things over the years, and I suppose it's a tradition in our family. I noticed my dad wearing some red pin dot socks on Christmas Day, so I naturally commented on them. He told me that they had been my grandfather's and that he had decided to wear them once a year. The rest of the time he just enjoys seeing them in his sock drawer.
Quite right, Tammy, and much more subtle besides. It seems all the manufacturers have succumbed to the oversized logo fad. I'm even seeing Aigner bags that ape the later Coach models...only with As instead of Cs.
I know way more about handbags than any straight man should.
Nice post. You are so blessed to be the new owner of that chair! My friend as two that were her mother's and I just love them. Corner chairs are wonderful.
I concur with the others on the downhill slide of Coach. Back in the 70s, 80s they were nice bags, now, a trendy eyesore.
The G9 equivalent by Grenfell is the closest in terms of quality to the Baracuta ones these - whether or not th e Baracuta is made in England.
A classic never goes out of style and takes more than one generation to wear it out. Hand me downs are becomming a thing of the past, as clothes today aren't made to last the way they did when I was a child. I don't think I ever wore very many "brand new" things because most of my clothing and shoes were handed down from my older sister. The old saying "They just don't make 'em like they used to", unfortunately, rings true with many things today. I find it to be true with a lot of clothing, even from reputable names.
I enjoyed wearing my grandma's pearls, that was until this Christmas, my husband bought me a lovely pair of my own.
By the way...I just adore the smell of pipe tobacco and cigars (yep, I said it, cigars too). There's something classic about that too.
Best yet! Thank you.
Unrelated musings. A lot goes into raising a 10 year old Golden. However, the result that you can see on display, is priceless. Unconditonal love.
The thought on the dog's mind is something like; "O.K. Mom, we've fed the birds. I don't care what you have planned the rest of the day, as long as you take me with you."
Huntington's was the real deal! Columbus, Ohio, and every item could have been selected by Mrs A. Catalogue wasn't slick and semed to say; "We don't put a lot into the catalogue, but you can find the best Ivy in the world here, at a good price."
It never ceases to amaze me the lack of value some people place on items such as these. I was in goodwill the other day and they were unloading a truckload of furniture from an estate. The children didn't want any of the items and referred to it as junk. So sad.
What a lovely post. I too cherish the things that have come down to me. My Grandmothers cameo and her pearls are two of my most precious belongings. My son wears my Fathers old cashmere sweater and my husband treasures my Grandfathers ring. These things tie us all together even though they are no longer here.
I truly enjoy your post. Thank you so much!
To John, I still have all of my coach bags from the time when they were special. I loved all of the solid colors and fine leathers. Those ugly C's Coach has gone so far down hill. I have switched to Boston Brahmin in the brown alligator. I truly miss the Coach that was. Jane
Such a wonderful post, you have such a gift Muffy for delivering sentimentality to your readers. I was very muched moved ( almost to tears) about your father's pipes. Since I myself a pipe smoker who spent many a year watching grandfather and uncles utilize the art, it is so wonderful to see you kept dads pipes. He had great taste in pipes I might add. Thanks for the memories. Never change for you are doing a splendid service to us all.
@Karena - Thank you. One thing that I appreciate so much is how it adds a level of depth and meaning to everyday life.
@T&CMom - Okay - between James' pen and your socks, I think I might cry!
@mary anne - I do love that chair. I spent my youth seeing it in his extraordinary house, so it also feels very familiar to me.
@Sartor Resartus - Great referral. Thank you! Here is a link to their jacket, although not the official site.
@Susan - I so dislike the idea of waste, and what you say is so true. I must also admit, despite the fact that cigarette smoke is anathema to me, I do love the smell of pipe tobacco as well. But I haven't seen anyone smoking a pipe in probably twenty years. (Which I am sure is a good thing.)
@Wharf Rat - Thank you! You are right, Sampson can barely contain his emotions. Right again on Huntington's. I found their catalogs refreshing and the prices were so reasonable.
@sle - This is where a good eye can serve you well. To be able to spot something great, amongst other items that aren't so great, take it home and clean it up, I find so very satisfying.
@Jane - Thank you. These are lovely examples.
@thepreppytimes - You are too kind. There was indeed a low-key ritual to the process.
Well said. The notion of respect for things past, serviceable, functional, and well-used is a key tenet of the preppy gestalt. On the sartorial side, there's something additional at work. Since my generation, there's been an inversion of attitudes and aspirations toward dress. In my day, the kids wanted to look like adults; today, the adults want to look like kids. Our sartorial models were our father, our father's friends, and our friends' fathers; hence your delight in wearing your father's scarf or carrying your mother's bag. Today, the dads are dressed no differently from the kids. They have no idea how foolish they look, and do not particularly care.
I agree. What a wonderful post. I often say the price is justified when one considers the quality, durability, and timelessness of an item. That is what makes buying trendy items so silly. With regard to Coach, I haven't been inside a Coach store in over 10 years. What I see now isn't at all appealing. I do, however, have a few bags that I splurged on when I was a resident that I still use today. My mother gave me a navy pea coat when I was in high school that she had wore college. I still wear it. It's funny how from time to time it returns as a trend. Somehow, I know my two year old will inherit this classic aesthetic as well. It would be difficult not to, when you are taught to appreciate quality over trend.
Here I sit, reading another wonderful post, while wearing a Harris Tweed sport coat I bought from Huntington Clothiers years ago. Last week I wore another Harris Tweed sport coat my dad bought there. I'm sorry Huntington isn't around any more.
Excellent post Muffy. I read it earlier today and didn't have time to post. SInce then everyone has posted and pretty much made all the points I was thinking of. I don't have much in the way of hand-me-downs from family, but my wife and I are constantly trawling the 2nd hand stores for clothing. She asked me one day if it was ok to be a label snob in a 2nd hand store, and I replied, of course. It is the only way to be. If I wanted cheap Walmart clothing I would go and pay the full (but low) price in Walmart. The only 2nd hand clothes worth owning are quality labels that have, and will stand the test of time and wear.
Most people have forgotten - if they ever knew - how to recognize a well made, good quality, product. During the past several years, I've had to clean out the homes of deceased family members. I've found linens which had been used for years which were thicker and in better shape than anything you can buy new these days. I'd forgotten how heavy and sturdy old pots and pans were (and they didn't orinally cost a small fortune). I could go on and on with examples of what I've found but the common denominator is that everything was made in the U.S.A. It makes me sad to realize the days of buying reasonably priced, well made things are probably, for the most part, over.
@Sartre - What a brilliant comment. The only thing worse than looking like a hooker is looking like an old hooker. If dressing like an adult is the thesis, and dressing like a teenager is the antithesis, perhaps the synthesis is a classic, ageless wardrobe.
@CSH - Silly is such an appropriate adjective. Your pea coat sounds wonderful. They always remind me of the character TV John on the Scottish show Hamish Macbeth.
@Bob Gall - How funny is that! Huntington filled a void - where you could find well made items, that were fairly priced, and therefore didn't have that "precious" feel that precluded regular wear.
@Chris - I agree, it's the best way to shop second-hand stores, church sales, etc.. I wonder how long until this current market place vacuum is filled.
@Billsburg - This reminds me of a substantial shipment of items that arrived from my husband's grandmother's estate, where even the more mundane items had that feel, and we have put all of it to use.
Grandfather has 4 identical versions of that same jacket. One smells of trout, one smells of lobster, one smells of wet dog, and the other smells of pipe. I once borrowed the pipe-smell one, and returned it smelling of pine needles, to which grandfather snorted "You made my jacket stink".
This post in particular resonated with me. It is encouraging to see so many people here who understand. Thank you so much.
My beloved grandmother-in-law left us a magnificent rug, but she also left me all her kitchen things. Some are quite beautiful; most are rather pedestrian; but I love and use them all, thinking of her every time I do so.
And my husband gave me his great-grandmother's engagement ring when he proposed to me. His great-grandparents had been happily married sixty-three years. I can't imagine a more powerful talisman than that.
My grandfather has a coat just like that(the one your father has)in blue, and I must say that, they are classics and I'm happy they are being passed down in your family!
Like others here, I value the old and sentimental, but I don't mind getting rid of (most) things I don't use or like anymore. It's such a feeling of relief to get rid of things - especially if they are going to people who can use them.
However, I've become more careful about the books donated to the library sale or retirement homes. In the past year, I gave away two books (one was a 20 year old cookbook) which I later realized I needed. No problem; I just went to Amazon to replace them with used copies. Second hand copies of the cookbook are selling for close to $200!
@Yankee-Whiskey-Papa - I love this! And I love all of the five smells to which you refer - so familiar.
@Staircase Witch - That is so incredibly touching. Sixty-three years... My husband and I (married for just 20 years) are still working out the small print...he says "till death do us part", I say "for eternity" (a la "Curb Your Enthusiasm"). :)
@Patti - Until my son grew into it, I had wished that it were a smaller size so I could be wearing it.
@Billsburg - A cautionary tale and a great reminder!
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