Sailing with Kinglsey

No matter how many variables one constrains, each trip out onto the water is different and wonderful in its own way. The permutations of company, conditions, locations, and other boats and people are infinite, and each adds layers of meaning to what I think of as a "classic" lifestyle. 

Now, as summer enters its final act, I find myself deliberately savoring so many details in preparation to unpack them in the dead of winter.  Here are some images (including of J-class boats, a Chris-Craft, and American Eagle) from our last time out,  that I know I will be summoning in January. 

We met half-way for a day with our friends, organic farmers Kingsley (a veteran racer), Kelly, and their three children.

Guest Skipper

Wing-and-Wing

He too has ancestors who sailed this very body of water in the 1600s.

Basic Preppy / Prep Clothes - Essential Wardrobe Staples

I am often asked by people for a list of the absolute, core preppy items for building out the base for a classic casual wardrobe. It is not complete (obviously), but a good place to start.

Of course, androgyny plays a role, with just a few items specifically for Men (M) or Women (W).

These items can be dressed up or down, personalized with other items, and often come in both inexpensive and high-end versions:

• Shirts:  Oxfords:  Solids (White and Blue) and University Stripes; Polo Shirts; Turtlenecks (W); Tattersall (M); Flannel; Seersucker
• Pants: Khakis; Nantucket Reds for summer; Corduroys for cooler weather
• Sweaters: Navy Cotton Crewneck; Cotton Cable; Navy Wool Crewneck; Cardigans(W); Norwegian Crewneck 
• Shoes: Quoddy Boat Shoes; Sperry Top-Siders; L.L. Bean Camp Mocs; Bucks (M); Bluchers; Bean Boots for winter
• Belts: D-Ring Motif Belt (W); Tab & Buckle Belt (M)
• Pocketbook (W): Vintage Vera Bradley or small L.L. Bean Boat and Tote
• Outerwear: Rain Slicker (can double as a wind-breaker), Patagonia Fleece
• Jackets: Tweed (M), Navy Blazer (M)

(All links here are to Daily Prep entries.)

When Does an Outfit Become a Costume?

Many have written to me recently asking if I had a heuristic for differentiating between a Preppy Outfit and a Preppy Costume.  I had never thought about it formally, but took the opportunity to create a table that may help.

The Difference Between an Outfit and a Costume

	Outfit	Costume
Goal:	Functionality, Graciousness, Joy, Wit	Projecting competitive image - "Clothes are a contest to win"
Clothes, after put on, are:	Forgotten about	Always front and center
Movement is:	Enabled by clothes	Restricted by clothes
People leave the wearer:	Inspired	Depressed, uneasy
Style worn:	Even if alone	Only in public
Clothes:	Reveal the wearer	Mislead or overstate information about the wearer
Alignment (between other items worn, work clothes, casual clothes, social outfits, private outfits, even house and car):	High	Low
Age:	Old and new	Almost all new
Clothes:	Improve the entire scene	Highlight the wearer at the expense of the scene
Vendor Example:	1980 L.L. Bean	2011 L.L. Bean Signature

"I've always wanted to pretend to be an architect!" - George Costanza

Some people, when wearing well thought-out clothes, look great. Other people look as if they should be carrying a UNICEF box and a plastic pumpkin for candy. The difference can seem subtle, but the change in feeling one gets is incredibly strong. 

Graciousness vs. Ostentatious
There is a big difference between being gracious and being ostentatious. Dressing well should be a form of good manners. (One thing I have loved about all of my Volvo wagons over the years is that they don't have the same "look at me"-ness of other flashier brands, while still giving guests a pleasant ride.)

Private vs. Public
My father often wore one of his J. Press bow ties with an Orvis Battenkill tattersall shirt, even if he didn't venture out of the house. So my question is always, would you wear the same thing if no one was going to see you?

Alignment
The countless people I have known who are "the real deal" have an alignment throughout all aspects of their lives. While everyone's passions and interests vary, there is a thread that carries through from clothes, furniture, houses, cars, and hobbies. When this alignment is not there, the effect is similar to reading a misleading resume or hearing an inaccurate story. It is a lot more work because it doesn't add up. 

It used to be that the Preppy wardrobe was an indicator of a lifestyle that included social responsibility. Now so many want the image without the work. So instead of canoeing around Squam Lake or Winnipesaukee counting loon chicks, they are jumping on the jet skies (but wanting to wear the old-guard iconic tartans to project gravitas and credibility). 

Improve the scene vs. standout
Does a person want to improve the scene of which he or she is part or do they want to stand out in it? This extends beyond clothes.  I've known people who move to a lovely street filled with moderate sized wood shingled houses, which they professed to love, and proceed to petition the zoning board to construct a mammoth contemporary house on a tiny lot. If they are successful, both the new house and the old houses look terrible.  These are the same people that maneuver to be in the center of any staged group photograph.

It can be a bit murkier
Of course, there are aspiration clothes. A lot of kids wear costumes as part of their "learning to be" and to try on different images. As with so many things, what is charming and appropriate in the below-25 set becomes awkward and embarrassing as people pass that mark.  (Meanwhile, I love my rope bracelets and my pearl earrings yet they are completely non-functional. And I have also always had an affinity for the whale motif. )

The Big Rule
My cardinal rule after being with someone, visiting their house, or even now, visiting their blogs or other sites is to ask 'how does it make me feel when I leave?' Do I feel inspired, relaxed, and intellectually satiated, or do I feel stepped on and manipulated? At times it is difficult to pinpoint exactly why I feel this way, but I have learned to let that feeling drive the analysis.

Here is a summary irony. Just as James Bond wouldn't carry a James Bond lunchbox, so too are Preppy costumes the antithesis of preppy.

Reader Question: Sailing Hats from Quaker Marine

The Casco Bay Sailing Hat

Hi Muffy,
I am really enjoying your sailing entries and was wondering if you knew where your Captain got his great hat.  It is easy enough to pick up one of okay quality, but that one looks better.  Love your blog and thanks so much!

Yes, I do.  In fact, we bought it for him from a New England vendor, Quaker Marine Co., based in the coastal Maine town of Falmouth.

Though they make a variety of hats styles, including tweed caps, wool ball caps, as well as straw hats, I tend to purchase the hats that are made for nautical pursuits.

All of these are American made and the quality is top notch.

The Casco Bay Sailing Hat, made of tough cotton canvas, has a brim lined with dark green for glare reduction.

This is the classic Original Swordfish Cap, also with a dark green underbrim.

I have always had a particular fondness for the long billed hats.  In the summer my father always wore an Original Oysterman Cap, a staple of New England fisherman.

Mike Ashford's Classic Eulogy 'Sailing with Cronkite'

After a recent conversation with Annapolis' Mr. Ashford (owner of the legendary McGarvey's), at the suggestion of one of his friends, I tracked down his eulogy of Walter Cronkite, on their years of sailing together.

It resonated so completely that I wanted to share it.

Reader Questions: Do Cape Madras Shorts Hold Up; Ideas for a Wife's 30th Birthday

Dear, Muffy:


I discovered your blog a few months ago and it has quickly became one of my favorites.  Not too long ago you did a couple of entries on Cape Madras shorts.  I love how they look, but because I am packing for a month long trip, I have to be very careful what I bring.  Do they hold up to more active pursuits?   Thanks.  


Your note was well timed yesterday, in that both it made me realize that I had been treating my Cape Madras shorts gently, and also I was just heading out the door down to where it would be hot, the wind brisk and the seas not exactly calm.

I wore these instead of my default Patagonia Stand Up Shorts. 

The day required lots of quick, and sometimes big, moves.

I choose my Cape Madras Bermuda Shorts over the Camp Shorts for their longer inseam of ten inches.

They absorbed  plenty of salt water.

A little deck caulk was the only damage, but that came out in the wash.

In the end I found them to be completely comfortable, affording plenty of freedom of movement, durable, cool and quick drying.  In fact, I will probably reach for them later in the week when we head out again.

While totally unrelated, I just couldn't help putting up this picture we took of the yacht The Blue Guitar while sailing past.  It was one of the best looking we saw all day.

---

Muffy,  My wife is turning 30 in five weeks. I have been trying to come up with an excellent present for her. I keep a file of things she likes, clothing brands, fragrances, etc. But, I feel like for her 30th birthday, plus with our first child on the way, this should be something special. Something of heirloom quality. We have only been married for 2 years. Last year I found a beautiful vintage sterling locket. I found one of the only hand-engravers in the state and had it monogrammed and put our wedding pictures in it. She loved it. I want to do something like that. Maybe silver or pewter candlesticks or serving tray? I am in grad school, so I am limited to about $150. Do you have any ideas for a very traditional birthday present for someone about to leave their 20's behind, and embark into motherhood, something that will be worth passing down? Thanks.

It sounds like you are doing a wonderful job on your own. That is a lovely gift, and your other ideas are just as good.

While obviously everyone has different likes and dislikes and it can be difficult to predict what someone will really love, I am happy to share what we have done.

For the past twenty or so years, every Christmas, birthday and Mother’s Day, my husband and son select something that I would never go out and purchase for myself in several areas.  You could start such a tradition yourself.  Here are some examples. 

• I very much enjoy proper tea and prefer to use loose tea in teapots. So sometimes I will receive a new teapot with a sugar bowl and creamer, or maybe one from a pattern that is no longer produced, like my Spode Gloucester.

• Although I often find eclecticism more charming, there are several “working” Wedgwood patterns I have that afford them years of easy decision making!

•  I love the sturdiness of Waterford Crystal and they have over the years given me many beautiful items including stemwear, highballs and lowballs, vases, pitchers and letter openers.

• Antique silver is another category. Although most of what we have came from family members, additional teaspoons, sugar spoons, etc are always wonderful.

I cannot say what category I like more. It is just so special that they do this for me on their own.

I do not wear a lot of jewelry.  With the exception of my rope bracelets and pearls, my jewelry is antique and has been handed down by loved ones.

Perhaps others will have suggestions as well.

Hollyhocks

A reader, HHH, sent this thought and these pictures from her garden...

"If one were to categorize flowers as one does people, Hollyhocks would surely fall into the category of preppy. After all, it loves cottages on Nantucket (as it does all cottage gardens in the cooler regions of New England). It is tall and proud, sturdy and self-assured, brightly colored in clean pastels reminiscent of sorbet, but never loud like a gladiola."

Summer Weekend

Summer weekends always provide a variety of eclectic images.  Here are some of ours from the last few days.

While Sampson. now 11, still likes the jump (as he did when he was younger)...

...and tolerates the plunge....

...what he really loves in the pool is to be held.

An Editorializing Gift

We caught a hen looking guilty as she laid where she was not suppose to.

And we visited a friend and took some pictures for her to send home to Scotland.